Over the winter holidays I decided to read the 5 Love Languages (men’s version here) and had a little bit of mixed emotions over it. Have you heard about this book and the essential languages of love?
Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
The idea is that there are many ways to express love to the other partner but usually each person has a primary love language that needs to be addressed to feel loved. Each person then has a “love tank” that needs to be filled with that love language. It was quick to figure out our primary languages, mine for sure is Quality Time, Brian’s is definitely Physical Touch. Now whenever we have a long day at work and get home we kid around asking whether either Love Tank is full or needs some pumping 🙂
I found the whole book pretty silly, mostly because Brian and I, in the big scheme of things, have a pretty new relationship and don’t have many issues discussed in the book. However, it was a fun read and both of us learned a little about ourselves and our relationship and I thought it would be good to start searching for some other reads on relationships.
Then came an amazing article from New York Times, To Fall In Love with Anyone, Do This, a story from a writer on the process of falling in love on the first date. The article discussed a published experiment performed by Dr Aron from Stony Brook University where 36 personal questions were asked between randomly paired heterosexual people and one of them actually got married. The writer decided to try these 36 questions with a stranger as a personal experiment and learned from her experience on the importance of the work that needs to go into falling in love. All the questions can be found here, but a few are below.
Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
What do you value most in a friendship?
What is your most treasured memory?
What is your most terrible memory?
When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
I have not tried these questions with Brian yet but I hope to find some time in our Valentines weekend to get some of these questions covered and see if it can take our relationship to an even closer level, especially since I speak the language of Quality Time 😉
Have you read this article yet? Tried these questions with a loved one?