Perspectives of a Lady, Gentleman & Dane

love Archive

1 Year!

Both of Us

I cant believe it has been a year since our first post went up! Even though we have been a bit busy the last few months, overall there was a lot of work that went into this site and we are happy to get all the readers that we do.

Instead of being sappy and going into all the wonderful things that have happened over the year we just want to say a big THANK YOU!

Hannah Sheflyand

It has been a crazy few months since our vacation and the engagement and I thought it would be nice to share my process so far and the other excuses on why I have been so sporadic with posts since then.

Right away Brian and I agreed that we wanted something simple and relaxed. We quickly picked a date (9/12/15!), a venue for the ceremony and a venue for the reception. I found a dress fairly quickly, a rental company to work with and we organized our guest list seamlessly and sent save the dates. Brian was being a huge support and helped with all the big decisions.

Yet somehow I became the crazy bride to be, I spent weeks barely sleeping, and stressed over the smallest things, like whether we should use clear or white plates and whether we should have blue or white napkins (I know crazy right?)! I started getting frustrated because while I was stressing like crazy Brian had no preference on these little things and I could not understand why. After a few more weeks with tension of discussing anything wedding related without freaking each other out we did the smartest thing possible, we sat down and talked. We talked about all the exciting events ahead and what that means to each of us, but then we also talked about what was bothering each of us and how we can communicate better so that we can be back to our normal happy couple. After that it was so much easier to relax, talk to each other and most importantly remember that the only really important part of this whole wedding planning is we are getting MARRIED!

Now I make lists, I go down the lists when I have time and I try to check some things off when I can. If there is something that I feel would be important to Brian I make sure I go over with him as well, if not I try to be bold and decide on my own or get some friends opinions and then I let Brian know. This way we both are on the same page with the wedding but it is less stressful to make decisions for either one of us. Now things go so much more smoothly, I sleep normally and we are much happier and relaxed.

Have you gone through this issue with your fiance or husband?

If you are married, or getting married, what are your best tips that you can share?


The location of our ceremony. I am so excited!

Hannah Sheflyand

Brian and I often joke around on how it is acceptable to be grumpy once your a retired old person and that Brian is very excited to let loose and be able to do that. Yesterday he sent over this awesome comic by Wes & Tony from Amazing Super Powers that I could not stop laughing at because it is so a Brian moment to be.


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jO9v67o - Copy - CopyThey are coming out with a book filled with awesome strips like this. What do you think?

And an addition to Brian’s grumpy faces (with some Charlie love) below to hopefully add an extra smile to your week 🙂



Hannah Sheflyand

How did your weekend go? I was sick through the whole thing and still sick, so I am huddled in bed drinking lots of hot tea hoping I heal quick.

I was really excited that after just posting about Jason Isbell, his wife and him just released a two single ep “Sea Songs“. I am in love all over. Take a listen and let me know what you think.

Have a happy healthy week 🙂


Hannah Sheflyand

I used to find Valentines day to be a drag and disliked the over priced consumerism (flowers double in price overnight)…. but I think I have become pretty romantic over time and now just relish that there is an extra occasion to spend time with loved ones. I hope your weekend goes smoothly whether you are on your own or not. Tonight, Brian and I are joining my parents to head to Brooklyn Fare Chef’s Table (which I am super duper excited about- have you ever been?), but I am also pretty under the weather so I am hoping the rest of the weekend requires no effort and instead lots of cuddle time and hot tea.

Some fun, love filled links from around the web to help keep you cheery this weekend:

A list of movies to binge watch

Easy desserts that are under 100 calories!

Great southern romance stories

Wish one of these cutedog dads would be my valentine

Some extra eye candy 😉

A defense for Valentines day

What are your plans for the weekend?

Hannah Sheflyand

Over the winter holidays I decided to read the 5 Love Languages (men’s version here) and had a little bit of mixed emotions over it. Have you heard about this book and the essential languages of love?

Words of Affirmation

Acts of Service

Receiving Gifts

Physical Touch

Quality Time

The idea is that there are many ways to express love to the other partner but usually each person has a primary love language that needs to be addressed to feel loved. Each person then has a “love tank” that needs to be filled with that love language.  It was quick to figure out our primary languages, mine for sure is Quality Time, Brian’s is definitely Physical Touch. Now whenever we have a long day at work and get home we kid around asking whether either Love Tank is full or needs some pumping 🙂
Read more…

Hannah Sheflyand

I can admit that I am awful with DIY projects; I love getting gifts and I love giving gifts, but I have no imagination and have very little patience for creating personal gifts for others. Luckily it is super easy to find amazing ideas and projects for gifts online 🙂

If I had any artistic skills I would love to work on one of these projects:

Read more…

Hannah Sheflyand

Being its the week of romance and love, lets talk about sex… more specifically bdsm and porn.

I was unsure if it would be a proper topic to discuss but I feel bdsm and porn has become less taboo for the everyday couple and that in my opinion is an awesome thing. I remember that going through college sex was an every day topic and no one was ashamed to discuss it at all; everything from hook ups, awkward positions, and silly laughable experiences were discussed over dinner, drinks or unproductive study sessions. Now as time has passed and relationships have become more serious, these conversations have almost come to a stand still. Is it because we feel too mature, too awkward because we know the friends partner, we have learned it all and there is nothing to discuss, or just embarrassment?

There has always been the option of secretly reading erotic romance novels, but once 50 Shades of Grey came out, things have changed. Yes its fake, yes there are many other books and writers that do a better job with writing this genre (some great suggestions here, here & here), but the topic of bdsm has been on New York Times best seller list for over 100 weeks and now will be on the big screen this weekend.

I understand that many feel porn is not proper, as a career for those in it (but don’t forget those who have risen from it such as David Duchovny or Sibel Kekilli) or for those watching it (which lets be honest everyone has at least taken a glance). I think this progress, in the media and through the general public, will help change that or at least get people opening up and keeping discussions going.

New York City is joining in on this new openness on sex and will be having their first ever Porn Film Festival later this month, “committed to bringing the best and most diverse body of work to NYC as a platform for both established and emerging talent.” The premier night will include Miley Cyrus’ short film (a snip below) and Tila Tequila’s sex tape.

How do you feel about this topic? How open are you about your sex life with friends?

Hannah Sheflyand

Sorry for the big delays between posts, it has been a crazy time since New Years. I am hoping over the next few weeks things will calm down and I will be able to work more on this blog. I really enjoy it, as its a way for me to be always learning something new, and it is a great way to focus and relax.

Since Valentines day is so close I thought it would be fun to have the week focus on flowers, gifts and just overall love, whether for others or just for yourself. Over the weekend Brian and I were really excited to be able to see Jason Isbell in concert in New York (he is one of our favorite country/rock singers and I have written many posts for Music Monday on him because I just love love love his songs). We were extra lucky because Jason Isbell’s wife, Amanda Shires, came to join on stage for a few duets. Both of them were as amazing live, as I thought they would be, but by far the favorite through the whole audience was Cover Me Up and I thought it was perfect for a love filled week.

Did you have a listen? Does this song not send goosebumps up your arms?

How was your weekend? Excited for Valentines day or dreading the whole thing and excited for the week to be over?

Hannah Sheflyand

I am not sure if you have noticed, but Brian has a grumpy look all the time when it comes to photos (otherwise he is the opposite of a grump). We were looking through photographs over the weekend, just to relax and reminisce, and noticed that even if Brian was having a fabulous time he always has the grumpy face. Brian says that I don’t smile enough for photos, because of the Russian in me, but I finally have a compilation of photos as proof that he is the one that needs to smile more.


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IMG_0004We enjoyed a few laughs looking through all these and Brian has given me full permission to embarrass him for this post.

Do you have a signature look or side for photos? I just smile as much as I can whenever I see a camera looking my way.